Unforseen Conduct
by VodkaThief
Summary: Yu-Gi-Oh cast is invited to Hogwarts for schooling. One thing’s for certain. If the Dark Lord wishes to carry out his plans, he will have to go through them first. The Death Eaters have no idea what they are getting themselves into…
1. Chapter 1

**Timeline:** This Harry Potter/Yu-Gi-Oh fic is set in the fourth book of Harry Potter (Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire by J.K. Rowling), and after all the Yu-Gi-Oh episodes, not containing GX and all those later series. So basically, the old cast.

**Warnings:** Yaoi implications/pairings, some straight implications/pairings, may be M rated at some points, viewer's discretion is advised. Coarse language, sexual connotations, etc.

**Life Goes On**

It was a sunny day in Tokyo, Japan. Amidst the bustling traffic and sweltering heat, a high school stood proud in the city center. This school was attended by three average students, who had average grades, lived average lives, and made average friends, as far as any of their classmates were concerned. You know, the usual. They didn't stand out, though their hairstyles would solemnly oppose this statement. But they were like you and me. Just people. And so it was marked as strange that one day, out of the blue, their classmates discovered each of them had an identical twin, and all three boys coincidentally happened to decide all at the same time to transfer from Egypt. Of course, certain excuses had to be made, and once those new students settled in, it was as if nothing at all had changed. The sun shone on brightly. A bird chirped in the sky.

Three Yamis bowed their heads and sighed.

If the sky wasn't going to be obliging and fall just because three spirits who weren't even meant to exist had just stepped entered into one of the most prestigious schools in Japan, they would just have to get over the fact and go in. Damn.

It was hard to believe that only a few months ago, when everything in a multitude of lives had drawn to a climax, lines were overstepped, futures torn, lives balancing on the brink of disappearing into an abyss meant only for souls… that in the end, the main players had survived. An ancient Pharaoh, a slippery spirit of the Ring, and a certain psychotic sadistic masochist, were by all rights meant to be listed in the Tokyo Museum as extinct species, and yet it was now that they found themselves in a set of 'retarded, tight, ugly, hot, stupid, stupid, STUPID' (adjectives courtesy of a certain loud-mouthed thief who had no qualms over making his opinions heard) school uniforms bearing the crest of one of Japan's top schools.

Whereas Yami Yugi took the treatment in his stride, Bakura and Marik were more inclined to…disagree.

It had to be a joke. They had laughed it off as a joke the first time it was mentioned, with Bakura rolling in circles at Marik's feet and the psycho bent backwards and forwards from the very thought of going to 'school', of all things, and maybe a little more from the way Bakura looked as he spun. When they finally realized Yami Yugi was not laughing, and that their hikaris were most definitely _not_ kidding, you can imagine that their giggling fits stopped quite abruptly, the white-net's body twisted in a frozen, unnatural 'U' shape, and Marik who too was on the floor having decided Bakura's antics were worthy of being followed two minutes into their hilarity. Which obviously in turn triggered a couple of laughs from the now watching crowd, as the hikaris had decided to stage this inevitable scene in the middle of a shopping mall.

Growling, the duo stood, glared around, turned their faces upwards and hollered.

"HOW'S THAT FOR A PROLOGUE?!"


	2. Chapter 2

Author's Note: It's a slow build up until the Harry Potter cast come into play.

**A Thief's Obsession**

Bakura in particular had been put off by the fact that a supreme 5000 year old spirit like himself, also known as the terrifying, magnificent, glorious, _King_ of Thieves (emphasis on word 'King' intentional, and i'll have you know Bakura's descriptions of himself are _definitely_ not overrated), had been forced into the lowly act of going to a…a… _school_. Hell, if his old comrades got wind of this disgraceful act, of stooping to abiding by laws, of not stealing lollipops from little boys on the streets every second day, he would never live it down. Much less forced into it by a short British guy with long white hair, who listened to Celine Dion and baked cookies every Sunday (Bakura snorted when 'people' said Ryou looked "so much like him", and I quote, "I'm no girly pansy Marik!"). Word spread like wildfire across ancient Egypt. Then again, it wasn't like he would be going back there anytime soon, so he figured at least he would make his stay at school _eventful_.

Recipe for trouble? No way.

Thing was, Bakura wasn't prepared for the defensive strategy the hikari trio challenged him with. Having one of them accompany him to every class (there would be no chemistry class, Bakura, and nobody cares how much you like to mix purple and green chemicals together to see if it makes the same color as Ryou's eyes) across every hallway and the pharaoh threatening to send him to the shadow realm if he did as much as look like he was enjoying himself was NOT fun, or marginally entertaining. And seeing as the Pharaoh was the one who had enabled both him and a similarly motivated Egyptian to stay in the living world, Bakura held a certain amount of grudging- dare he say it- _gratefulness_ towards the short fellow whose hair looked like it was doused in buckets of multi-coloured paint. Even so, if this had been a shadow duel, things may not have turned out so relatively peaceful and harmless... well, as harmless as a kleptomaniac previously bent on ruling the world can be.

And so it was that an afternoon after school had finished, Bakura was strutting happier than usual towards the main gate, his bag intact for once (no fits of rage today due to suppressed aggression), albeit lighter due to the fact that his homework had disappeared before he even left the school grounds; shouldn't be too hard to explain to Ryou that someone had stolen it- after all, people stole things all the time and Ryou would be pleased he didn't have to go out over the weekend to buy Bakura his thirteenth school bag. Honing his knife throwing skills using the bag as a target had seemed like a good idea, seeing as he couldn't borrow the chests of students to generate a sense of reality due to the Pharoah's careful watch, up until Ryou finally pulled the "you're gonna pay for the next bag out of your own pocket" card. Imagine that, a thief paying for his own bag. The shame. The indignity of it all.

Bakura would have his revenge.

Somewhere far away...

Dumbledore had long been used to sending invitation letters out to students without a fuss- after all, wizard owls did have a slight magic of their own to escape unharmed if it was in danger from a human. And it wasn't as if anyone would attack an owl for no reason at all. Too bad he didn't take into account that that 'human' was Bakura.

Back in Japan,

Bakura had quite enjoyed his day. Home economics class, P.E., and History had been his schedule. Bakura had managed to make the most of every one. With his newly acquired partner/s in crime. Home economics was the only class where Bakura was allowed near fire, and only when Ryou was standing less than a meter away. Though Ryou's fate was no longer linked to Bakura's, it seemed even after all those months in separate bodies, the fact had not sunk in, and so Ryou was lent what seemed to be a temporary 'Safe from Bakura's Rampages' ticket. Unfortunately, Ryou is no match for the master thief when he is solely focused on on thing, and so was unable to stop him from burning the teacher's skirt through, causing her to dash for an apron to preserve dignity. Bakura swore, looking innocent (or as innocent as he could look), that he was standing at least five meters away, and could NOT have done it. Luckily for him (after being faced with a very angry, spatula wielding hikari), he had a witness who insisted upon his innocence. 10 minutes later, the bell rings, and Bakura high fives Malik.

P.E. was even better. The dents in the side of Mr Souzoku's head would be a tribute to how much the fiend enjoyed baseball.

"HOME RUN!" due to the fact that the referee was otherwise engaged with a battle between forehead and grassy field, and therefore unable to stop neither Bakura nor Malik from making several laps around the grounds, ignoring all attempts of classmates to halt their progress due to the ball having arrived back at home base after their first round and a half. Rules are for wimps, after all.

In the locker room, Bakura man-hugs Malik, both laughing hysterically in their signature cackles.

He's spotted later, walking to Mr Souzoku's office with Ryou, and coming out looking dejected, and very much like a reprimanded child who's had his favorite candy taken away as punishment. Apparently, he's also spotted five minutes later sneaking off to his locker with a baseball bat.

As for history, let's say the teacher was beginning a unit on Egyptian history, and leave the explanation at that. Poor guy didn't even have Yami on his side. Seeing as he was arguing alongside his newly acquired allies.

"Give him a break," Yuugi whispered softly as the teacher slammed his fist down.

"Sorry Yuugi," smiled Yami. He turned back to the teacher, and the tirade continued.

"Who the HELL is Horakhty? HORUS was the creator of light!" A pencil broke somewhere in the background.

"NO HE WASN'T!" hollered back Malik. A couple of sniggers contributed to the din, as the teacher's face took on an almost purple hue.

"Didn't know even you could scream that loud," smirked Bakura.

"You don't know half of it," replied Marik, smirking back, catching his eye briefly and winking, leaning backwards and tilting his chair, testing to see how far he could go without falling.

Bakura laughed out loud as the evilest hikari turned pink and was silenced for a few moments, before…

"Well, I guess I'll just have to tell Bakura what I made you do yesterday," grinned Malik.

Marik blinked, "Yesterday?" he questioned looking confused. Then he froze.

"NO!"

CRASH

Earth's gravity claimed another victim. Face vs floor, didn't take a genius to figure out who would come out better in the end. This was karma from Mr Souzoku's P.E. class. Bakura was sure of it. Himself however, would obviously be forever immune to that trivial matter.

Seeing Marik's reaction, Bakura lost complete interest in the lesson, mentally added the teacher to the list of people and objects he would send to the Shadow Realm right after he was out of the Pharaoh's debt, and grabbed Malik by the shirt, causing Marik to growl at him warningly from somewhere by their feet.

"So tell me, Malik, what was it that happened yesterday?" Bakura drawled out. "Or would you rather I force it out of you?"

Malik glanced at his fuming yami.

"If you dare say a word…" Marik got up painfully, gripping his so-called _light_'s shoulder as hard as he could for leverage.

"Hey, take a guess Bakura, lets play hot or cold," evil hikari's pained expression morphing into a smirk mirroring his yami's triumphant smirk from barely a minute ago.

"Go to hell, mini-me!" Marik opened his mouth immediately to protest, looking disgruntled and wearing an expression akin to someone who'd just stepped on a sea urchin. Bakura grinned darkly, sliding his chair directly next to Malik, a closer shadow of his past self showing itself. "You too, albino freak!"

"Been there, not as bad as you'd think, now Malik would you kindly spit it ou-"

_Bell rings. End of class._

"-t. Damn," Bakura grumbled, bat wings drooping.

"Yes," sighed the teacher.

"_NO!"_ yelled Yami.

"The 5th Egyptian Pharaoh was NOT Akhumaden!"

"Who was it then?" sighed the teacher tiredly.

"It was m- MMPH! _What was that for Yuugi?!"_

As Yuugi turned to berate his obstinate Yami, the other two darks left with the rest of the class.

"Saved by the bell!" cackled Marik as he grabbed his hikari and dragged him out into the hall. From the past months, he found Bakura remembered the most meaningless things, whilst the more important ones were forgotten. Most likely he would be safe if his hikari didn't bring it up again. Speaking of which…

Marik turned to narrow his eyes at his hikari, who grinned brightly right back up at him. Marik smiled. Malik took it as his cue to bolt.

Which brings us practically full circle to the present.

A happy evil thief was a dangerous evil thief. Which pretty much meant, anyone who came within pranking distance of Bakura would find themselves in rather concerning, rather unhealthy situations. Most people remembered this after the first week of Bakura being at school. However, this time, an unwitting owl was the unlucky perpetrator.

"Hot damn."

Bakura often stopped at the corner Sun & Moon shop to gaze dreamily inside at the various 'bad ass' weapons it held, displayed tantalizing inches away behind the thick glass. Long ago, Bakura would have simply found a back door, picked the lock and before you could declare "not again" he would have entered and gone on rampage with all the _pretty sharp _objects; but this kleptomaniac did have certain morals... or rather, a thieving set of guidelines. Even Bakura would not sink as low as to steal from such a brilliant shop, which showcased not only weapons for modern warfare, but also designs of cutlass used throughout the kingdom of Ancient Egypt.

**Bakura's Code of Conduct:**

_35. No one touches Sun & Moon. Especially not the whips. Period._

The white fiend had made it his own personal mission to safeguard his shop, his addiction to this little haven not going unnoticed as he would become an everyday scene. At times he would have his nose pressed up against the window, making faces at the leather-clad, tattooed customers – challenging them to come outside and pick a fight. This happened more often than not. Other times he would stand with his back leaning against the window of the store, glaring at anyone who remotely looked as if they had an intention of taking advantage of the little shop.

Within weeks, Bakura had earned himself quite a reputation. The city of Tokyo had many crime gangs, and it so happened that one day Bakura challenged one too many doubtful figures. The lumbering hunk had been easy enough to deal with, but the other cronies weren't. One body was easy enough to hide, but sixteen was…slightly over Bakura's head. He had to enlist Marik's help, and that event wasn't something Bakura was proud of, seeing as Marik wanted in on the action, and Bakura wasn't prepared to share his fame. Although since then, Bakura didn't have quite so many challengers. Such a shame really. He had quite enjoyed his daily workout. Oh well. Suppose kicking Marik's ass daily will just have to do.

Anyhow, today was just another day where Bakura had his nose pressed up against the glass, creating a rather amusing image for assistants inside the shop, when all of a sudden, he was accosted by an extremely sneaky villain who had managed to slip past Bakura's 'razor sharp' defenses and intuition. He received several slaps around the head before Bakura finally got the upper hand on the culprit. This wasn't going to be pretty. Bakura glared at what he held struggling in his arms. And blinked. An adorable fluffy white owl sat blinking up at him innocently, as if it didn't just sign its own death warrant. _Why did it have to look so much like Ryou?_


End file.
